Motto

Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, get your breakfast first.

--Josh Billings (1818-1885)

Scoring Guide

The best score a breakfast can receive is, of course, The Perfect $4.00. A base score is determined by the cost of the entree. That score could rise if the other factors that contribute to breakfast (service, atmosphere, and food quality, for example) warrant a penalty, scored in penalty pennies. The worst score a breakfast can receive is $10.00.

Theoretically, a breakfast could score better than a $4.00 if we walked in, were given the best seat in the place, got called by our names, were served pancakes, two eggs, bacon or sausage, and hash browns for $3.95 with great coffee or ice cold juice. But, if that happens, we won't tell a soul about it because we don't want a horde of other cheapskates messing up the place.

Let's say that Shelby ordered a plain Belgian waffle, a side order of bacon, and orange juice. Since the waffle cost $5.25 and the bacon and orange juice were sides, the breakfast's base score begins at $5.25, and Shelby could opt to begin the score at $5.00 if the conditions warranted it. If the service were bad, then Shelby might add a quarter penalty. If the seats were uncomfortable, he might add a dime, and if his syrup had that icky film on the top, he might add a nickel, resulting in a final score of $5.65. I have to say that $5.65 is a very respectable score.

Let us know how well the scoring guide works for you.