Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, get your breakfast first.

--Josh Billings (1818-1885)

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Lynn's Paradise Cafe

Last January, Lynn's Paradise Cafe closed and, despite rumors to the contrary, will remained closed indefinitely. There are many reasons to get up in the morning, don't get me wrong, but there is one fewer now.

Scoring Guide

The best score a breakfast can receive is, of course, The Perfect $4.00. A base score is determined by the cost of the entree. That score could rise if the other factors that contribute to breakfast (service, atmosphere, and food quality, for example) warrant a penalty, scored in penalty pennies. The worst score a breakfast can receive is $10.00.

Theoretically, a breakfast could score better than a $4.00 if we walked in, were given the best seat in the place, got called by our names, were served pancakes, two eggs, bacon or sausage, and hash browns for $3.95 with great coffee or ice cold juice. But, if that happens, we won't tell a soul about it because we don't want a horde of other cheapskates messing up the place.

Let's say that Shelby ordered a plain Belgian waffle, a side order of bacon, and orange juice. Since the waffle cost $5.25 and the bacon and orange juice were sides, the breakfast's base score begins at $5.25, and Shelby could opt to begin the score at $5.00 if the conditions warranted it. If the service were bad, then Shelby might add a quarter penalty. If the seats were uncomfortable, he might add a dime, and if his syrup had that icky film on the top, he might add a nickel, resulting in a final score of $5.65. I have to say that $5.65 is a very respectable score.

Let us know how well the scoring guide works for you.